Utah's Tale:
The Hobo and the Banker

Case you never heard of him, U. Utah Philips (the U. stands for what everyone always calls him, which is "hey, you!") is a sometime hobo, a pacifist, a wobbly, and a folk singer, which is what most people know him for these days.

One time he happened to be living in a house in Spokane. He was sitting out on the porch long about noon, his usual rising time, well after most of his other neighbors had packed up their lunchboxes and headed down to put in a shift at Kaiser Aluminum. This made them furious.

Utah was sitting there on his porch, sipping a tall glass of iced tea, when one of his neighbors, an old retired banker, came cannonballing his rotundity up the front stoop and said, "Why don't you get a job!"

Utah, being hip to the Socratic method, answered him with a question: "Why?"

"Why, if you got a job," the banker sputtered, "you could get a paycheck, earn yourself some money."

Utah, sticking with the same tack, said "Why?"

"You make yourself some money, you could have some savings, put away a dollar or two every time you get paid."

And again, Utah said "Why?"

"Save up enough money," the banker replied, "you never have to work another day in your life!"

"Hell," said Utah. "That's what I'm doing already."

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