Dr. Mojo Goes To The City

One day, Dr. Van Van Mojo decided he would move to the big city. He took out his knapsack and packed a change of underwear, his very best T-shirt, his favoritest dope pipe and his Britney Spears fetish. Then he buried his guns in the backyard and set out for the city.

Dr. Mojo walked for many miles, until his feet grew tired. Then he extended his hand toward the road with his thumb pointing toward the city. It was an old magic spell, and it had never failed.

Dr. Mojo continued to cast his spell until a car pulled over and picked him up. The driver was none other than Mr. Turtle, the doctor’s old friend from the county jail. Imagine their surprise!

Dr. Mojo and Mr. Turtle had a great time listening to the radio and throwing beer bottles at road signs, until Mr. Turtle spotted flashing lights in his mirror. He pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car.

“Shit,” he told Dr. Mojo. “Be cool.”

A tall policeman in mirrored glasses tapped at the window. Mr. Turtle rolled it down and showed the officer his papers. Just when Dr. Mojo thought everything was OK and the policeman would leave soon, the cop took off his sunglasses.

“What’s in the trunk?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing important,” Mr. Turtle said. “We’re pretty harmless characters. We’re just carrying a pound of weed, some pirated software and a bunch of rifles.”

Dr. Mojo almost choked when he heard this, but Mr. Turtle just smiled at the cop. The officer laughed and put his sunglasses back on.

“That’s pretty funny,” he said. “I guess you guys are OK. Just watch out for the speed limit. You can go now.”

“C’mon! Let’s get to the big city!” Mr. Turtle cried as he pulled out into traffic. “You can stay at my place until you get settled.”

When they got to the city, they parked in the garage below Mr. Turtle’s building and got out of the car. Mr. Turtle popped the trunk and pulled out two big black duffel bags. He handed one to Dr. Mojo.

“What’s this?” the doctor asked, taking the bag. It was heavy.

“Oh, nothing important,” said Mr. Turtle. “Pretty harmless, really. Just a pound of weed, some pirated software and a bunch of rifles.”

Dr. Mojo laughed.

“Let’s go get high!” he cried. He knew he would like it in the big city.

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