Johnny Brainwash's
Patented Hair Grease of Protection
Fill a small jar to a couple of inches deep with Vitamin E oil. Add a splash of essential oil of rosemary, which is good for dandruff and makes you smell just a bit like a hippie (but in the good way). Add 23 drops of van van oil, which is good for protection and luck, and smells like orange Trix.
Cover the jar and shake it up.
Pour a small quantity into your hand and rub into hair and scalp. Comb through.
Good for keeping your hair out of your face and attracting fortune. Wards off danger and dandruff. Also freaks people out that you look like a greaser and smell like a hippie. In the good way, of course.